How to Build Courage in Children with Hanuman ji in the Ashoka Grove
Updated: Oct 14
A child’s courage is easy to miss.
It may not look like a loud voice, a big victory, or a fearless leap. Sometimes courage is a child whispering, “I don’t understand.” Sometimes it is walking into a new class with a tight stomach. Sometimes it is saying, “I made a mistake,” even when they are scared of being scolded.
This week’s Hanuman Power Club theme is “Courage Can Be Quiet.” And few moments show this more beautifully than Hanuman ji’s time in Lanka, when he entered the Ashoka grove in search of Sita ji.
We often remember Hanuman ji as mighty, powerful, and unstoppable. He crossed the ocean. He carried mountains. He burnt Lanka. But before all that, there was another kind of courage. A softer courage. A courage that waited, watched, listened, and chose the right moment.
That is the kind of courage children need every day.
Courage is not the absence of fear. It is noticing fear, steadying ourselves, and choosing one wise next step.
Hanuman ji reached Lanka, but the work was not over
When Hanuman ji reached Lanka, it would have been easy to feel that the difficult part was complete. He had crossed the vast ocean. He had entered the city of Ravana. He had done what seemed impossible.
But his real purpose still remained.
He had to find Sita ji.
This is such an important moment for children to understand. Sometimes they think courage means one big action. Stand on stage. Say sorry. Join the new group. Try the hard sum. Tell the truth.
But often, after the first brave step, there is another step waiting.
Hanuman ji did not become careless after reaching Lanka. He did not rush loudly through the city. He became small. He searched quietly. He looked carefully. He moved with patience and wisdom.
There is a beautiful lesson here for children: bravery does not always make noise. Sometimes bravery becomes small so that it can do the right thing.
A child who asks for help quietly after class is brave.
A child who tries again after losing a match is brave.
A child who says, “I don’t want to do this,” when something feels wrong is brave.
A child who enters an unfamiliar place and stays present is brave.
The world may not clap for these moments. But parents can learn to notice them.
Courage also feels discouraged sometimes
As Hanuman ji searched Lanka, he did not immediately find Sita ji. He looked in many places. He kept trying. And at one point, when he still could not find her, he felt deeply discouraged.
This part matters.
Even Hanuman ji, the great devotee of Shri Ram, had a moment when his heart became heavy. He wondered if he had failed in his mission. He paused. He reflected. He steadied himself.
Then he tried again.
For children, this is deeply comforting. Many children believe that if they feel scared, sad, nervous, or unsure, it means they are not brave. They may think brave people never tremble, never doubt, never need help.
Hanuman ji teaches the opposite.
Courage can include a shaking voice.
Courage can include tears.
Courage can include a pause.
Courage can include beginning again.
The pause is not failure. The pause can be sacred. It gives the heart time to remember its purpose.
When a child says, “I can’t do this,” we do not always need to rush in with, “Of course you can.” Sometimes the kinder response is, “This feels hard right now. Let us breathe. What is one small step?”
That small step may be opening the book.
It may be telling the truth.
It may be saying sorry.
It may be asking the teacher one question.
It may be trying for five more minutes.
This is how courage grows. Not by forcing children to become fearless, but by helping them steady themselves in the middle of fear.
In the Ashoka grove, Hanuman ji chose gentleness
At last, Hanuman ji reached the Ashoka grove. There he saw Sita ji.
She was alone, surrounded by fear and pressure, yet she did not give up her faith. She did not abandon her values. She did not forget Shri Ram. Her courage was quiet, steady, and luminous.
Sita ji’s courage was not the courage of physical strength. It was the courage of patience. The courage of saying no. The courage of holding on to truth when the world around her tried to break her spirit.
Children need this example too.
A child may show Sita ji’s kind of courage when they refuse to join in teasing someone.
When they do not copy in a test, even if others are doing it.
When they tell the truth though they may get into trouble.
When they wait with faith during a difficult family season.
When they hold on to kindness in a harsh environment.
Sita ji teaches that courage can be still. It can sit under a tree and continue to trust.
Hanuman ji saw her pain. But he did not jump down suddenly in his powerful form. He did not frighten her. He did not make the moment about himself.
He waited patiently. He watched for the right time. Then he approached gently.
Most beautifully, he first spoke about Shri Ram. He allowed Sita ji to hear the name that gave her strength. He spoke in a way that built safety in her heart. Only after that did he reveal himself.
Then he showed her Shri Ram’s ring.
The ring was not just an object. It was a sign of truth. A sign that she was remembered. A sign that help was coming. A sign that hope had not been lost.
This is a tender lesson for parents. Children open up when they feel safe. Before we correct, advise, or instruct, we can first build trust.
We can say:
“I am here.”
“You can tell me slowly.”
“You are not alone.”
“We will take one step at a time.”
“I believe you can face this with help.”
Just as Hanuman ji carried Shri Ram’s ring, parents can carry signs of safety for their children: a calm voice, a listening face, a patient silence, a hand on the shoulder, a promise that love will remain even when mistakes happen.
Hanuman ji knew when to be gentle and when to be powerful
The Hanuman Chalisa gives us this beautiful line:
सूक्ष्म रूप धरि सियहिं दिखावा।
विकट रूप धरि लंक जरावा॥
Hanuman ji took a subtle, small form when he appeared before Sita ji. Later, he took a fierce and powerful form when Lanka had to witness the strength of Shri Ram’s messenger.
This does not mean courage is always soft. It also does not mean courage is always forceful.
It means true courage changes its form according to what is wise and compassionate.
With Sita ji, gentleness was courage.
Before injustice, strength was courage.
In the search, patience was courage.
In discouragement, trying again was courage.
In the mission, devotion was courage.
This is a life lesson for children. There are times to speak softly and times to speak firmly. There are times to wait and times to act. There are times to ask for help and times to stand up and say, “No.”
Courage is not one fixed behaviour. It is the ability to ask, “What is the right and kind thing to do now?”
How courage looks in a child’s everyday life
Children may not face Lanka, but they do face their own inner battles.
A child’s Lanka may be a new school bus. A difficult chapter in maths. A friendship that has changed. A mistake they are ashamed of. A competition they are afraid to lose. A situation where they need to speak the truth.
When we recognise courage only as confidence, we may miss the child who is trying very hard on the inside.
Courage in children can look like:
Asking for help when they feel stuck
Admitting a mistake instead of hiding it
Trying again after disappointment
Speaking the truth with a nervous heart
Saying no when something feels unsafe or wrong
Entering an unfamiliar situation slowly
Apologising without being forced
Standing beside someone who is being left out
Taking a break, breathing, and returning to the task
These are not small things. These are the roots of character.
If we want to learn how to build courage in children, we can begin by naming these moments when they happen. What we notice, grows.
A child who hears, “I noticed your courage when you told me the truth,” begins to understand that honesty is strength.
A child who hears, “I noticed your courage when you tried again after feeling upset,” begins to see failure differently.
A child who hears, “I noticed your courage when you said no,” begins to trust their inner voice.
A simple family practice for the week
This week, bring the theme “Courage Can Be Quiet” into your home in a simple way. You do not need a long lecture. A few honest minutes can be enough.
Share a small courage story
As a parent, share one personal example of small courage.
It could be:
A time you apologised
A time you asked someone for help
A time you entered a new place and felt nervous
A time you told the truth even though it was uncomfortable
A time you had to begin again after feeling discouraged
Keep it simple. Children connect more with real stories than perfect ones.
You might say, “I also feel afraid sometimes. Once I had to do something difficult, and I took one small step first.”
This helps children see courage as human, not heroic in a distant way.
Practise Brave Breath
Sit together for a minute.
Invite your child to breathe in and silently say:
“I am here.”
Then breathe out and silently say:
“One small step.”
Repeat this a few times.
This practice teaches the body that it does not need to solve everything at once. It only needs to return to the present and choose one wise next step.
Ask two gentle questions
When your child is facing something difficult, ask:
“What feels difficult?”
Then ask:
“What is the smallest safe step you can take?”
The word “safe” matters. Courage is not pushing children into distress. Courage grows best with support, steadiness, and trust.
Notice courage during the week
When you see courage, name it.
Say:
“I noticed your courage when…”
Fill in the moment clearly.
“I noticed your courage when you asked your teacher again.”
“I noticed your courage when you told me what happened.”
“I noticed your courage when you tried the class even though you were nervous.”
“I noticed your courage when you were kind to your friend.”
This kind of noticing becomes a mirror. Children begin to see the strength they already carry.
The quiet courage we carry forward
Hanuman ji’s meeting with Sita ji in the Ashoka grove is not only a story of devotion. It is a guide for the inner life of a child.
He reached Lanka, but kept searching.
He became small when smallness was wise.
He felt discouraged, but paused and began again.
He waited with patience.
He approached with gentleness.
He spoke of Shri Ram before speaking of himself.
He showed the ring and brought hope.
And Sita ji, in her stillness, showed a courage just as radiant. She held on to faith. She held on to truth. She refused to abandon her values.
This is the courage we want our children to know. Courage that is strong without being harsh. Gentle without being weak. Quiet without being absent. Powerful when needed, patient when needed, truthful always.
The ongoing Hanuman Power Club by Cityogini helps children explore these living values through stories, reflection, practice, and community.
WhatsApp group: Join the Hanuman Power Club by Cityogini
May our children learn, like Hanuman ji, to steady themselves and choose the next wise step. And may they remember, like Sita ji, that quiet faith is also great courage.
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